What are you saying with your body?

One billion people speak Chinese, four million speak Spanish, with English trailing behind at three million. Seems like an exorbitant amount of people speak English, right? Well, think again.

There’s another way of communicating that no one really talks about: Body Language.

This universal constant can get you by on the bus (when asking a fellow rider for fare, rub your hands together) or on the sidewalk (glance over at someone’s lips when they’re smoking a cigarette), but some people don’t consciously use this tool as a way to communicate with others.

Have you ever talked with someone who said they would love to go out for drinks, Friday night, yet their eyes gave them away instead? Inside, they’re thinking, “No, I actually don’t want to go out with you. At all,” and you’re too busy checking your Yelp account, looking for the appropriate attire to wear to said event, totally oblivious to what the person is saying, without using words.

via Watta Lyf
via Watta Lyf

Next time you’re holding a conversation with someone, why don’t you look at the way they’re standing, or where they’re looking. Are they crossing their arms, closing themselves off? Or are their eyes busy searching the ceiling, looking for an out to the increasingly uncomfortable one-sidedness of the entire affair?

Paying close attention to a person’s posture could also come in handy during a meeting with the higher-ups. Watch their eyebrows when you bring up a new idea. Are they arching in surprise? Or perhaps just one is raised, which could mean that they are skeptical of your next big brilliant design. Pay attention to the way they’re sitting, too. Do they seem more relaxed or are they leaning over into their phone, completely ignoring you?

Subtle social cues can be used to supplement a conversation in almost every situation the next time you’re asking for a raise, or trying to ask someone out on a date.

Just something to think about.

Featured image via Philosoraptor quick meme

Q&A with one-man-band HARBORS

David Shayne might enlist the help of friends to record occasional songs, but typically records all the instruments himself.

David Shayne plays all the parts in the latest songs for his one-man-band HARBORS. His music is like a soft, pattering rain, providing a gentle backdrop to a work day that demands a steady stream of consistent melody. Part early Rise Against (“Swing Life Away”) meets Goo Goo Dolls (“Slide”), HARBORS is the musical outpouring of a burgeoning LA soul trying to break free from his cage of rust, glass hearts, ghosts, and guns.

During Shayne’s busy schedule, he took the time to discuss his creative process:


These days I release every song I record into the wild. A song doesn’t truly exist if nobody hears it.


Q: Have you encountered many one-man-bands or do you feel like a fledgling doing his own thing?

A: Yeah, I see one-man-bands fairly often these days. With recording programs like Garageband and Pro Tools it’s possible to write and recording everything on your own at home. I love it.

Q: Would you say you’re surrounded by creative people who boost you up and inspire you?

A: To be honest, not really. Haha!

Q: How long have you been writing music?

A: I’ve been writing music for 13 years or so, but I didn’t get serious about songwriting until about six years ago.

Q: In “I Won’t Mind”, for instance, I hear drums, two different guitar riffs, and vocals of course. Are you playing all of these and putting them together in post? Do you use Audacity, by chance, or some other program?

A: The song “I Won’t Mind” and the rest of self-titled album were recorded at a studio in Canada with other musicians on bass, drums, keyboards etc. However, I do play all of the instruments on the newer songs I have online, and yes, I put the separate tracks together in post using Pro Tools.

Q: All of your lyrics are pretty personal, do you think this goes over well with your friends? (I’ve had a bad experience in the beginning of my blogging career where one of my friends asked me to delete one of my blogs, so I was just curious if the same thing happens for musicians, too.)

A: Surprisingly, I’ve never really had friends ask about my lyrics. If they do say something It’s usually just a compliment. They don’t dig too deep. 

Q: On your Bandcamp page, you have your last album as published in 2011, are you planning on producing another full-length CD sometime soon?

A: Yes! I’m currently working on a new album! I don’t have a release date yet. My last album was recorded in 2011 and released in 2012. I’m not on a label so it took awhile for people to notice it.

Q: Then there’s harborsmusic.com, with new songs like “Rust” and “Daggers”. Did you create those last year?

A: I think I wrote “Rust” two years ago, but i recently re-recorded the demo and changed it a bit. “Daggers” was written 8 months ago. Those two songs might end up on the new album.

Q: What’s your decisionmaker, as far as knowing what to release into the wild and which songs to keep sacred?

A: These days I release every song I record into the wild. A song doesn’t truly exist if nobody hears it.

Listen to HARBORS online now, on his official website and on Patreon.com:


Back in the day, short headlines were good headlines

Now, it seems like we have to pack every inch of cyberspace with SEO-expurgated copy, GIF ads, color-BAM!, and sound-WHUM! Until our brains are glitching out in time with our poor, broke back browsers.

Gone are the days when puns were artfully hidden within the tiny folds of a headline precariously placed between what precious little space was available on the physical page.

I, for one, was never all that good at coming up with headlines. By that I mean, I could spit out 10 or 20 phrases, each with words that might stick to the fly paper, but mostly it’s crapola. The best way to come up with a good headline is to stand around with your friends, teeth unconsciously grazing thumbnails, heads bowed in reverent concentration, and whisper things like, “Can you kern that line a little?” and “Try 18.265 pt., see if that does it.”

And the phrases go flying:
“Should it rhyme?”
“What do you think about alliteration?”
“Putting ‘killer’ in front of ‘baby’ makes it seem like Chucky’s little monster infant is out there, stalking the streets, hungry for blood.”

Oh, and most of your ideas get shot down in a real newsroom. I’m talkin’ about people cursing each other out. Stress at its peak. Deadlines stretching the time between two minutes like a chasm into which you could pitch the entire orchestra that is your soul’s longing to opine about anything you’re most passionate about, while simultaneously it’s like you’d blink and your story’s past due. Finito. “You’re no longer allowed to write for us.”

Oh, no, I’m fine. I got this.

Flash forward five years and you’re a different person. You’ve changed with the tides, so to speak, ever evolving with the shifting sea of short attention spans and long-winded titles for articles that might not even have anything relatable in the body. It’s all so marketable now and “Is your landing page up to par?” and “How many clicks did I get today” and “I need more views on my video, so I can look like a badass, like I know what I’m doing and the numbers will prove my worth to all of society!”

Phew. It’s exhausting thinking about how fast things change around here, but really, who are we without change?

I was thinking about this on the way to work today, about Decartes’ clean slate and I’m still trying to figure out which side of the debate I lean towards. Part of me is all, “Mhmm, well, Carl Jung made a point there, with his structure of the Hero’s Journey, like, there’s something to this collective conscious-type instinct we have for speech and predilection towards religion…” So, like I said, still straddling the fence, here. Can people change or are we programmed from Day 1?

“I, too, need structure. A little fucking discipline.”
– Jane Burnham, American Beauty

Overall, I think I miss structure. Though there aren’t exactly enough hours in the day to do everything I was to do (five months since my “resolution” article and I still haven’t learned how to play guitar), but I’m still pretty much free to goof off. And no one’s telling me if I’m doing a good job.

School was degrading at times, depressing at times, sometimes passing through me as if I were made of fog, but at least I had some kind of system whereby I was graded on my progress in life! And college was life for a while, something to focus on, something to believe in. Now, as an “adult”, I’m just making it up as I go along.

It’s kind of like my “profession” in general. We’re all just making it up as we go along. We can show off some analytics and say, “Oh, hey. That’s working,” and “Look, this guy came to our site at 1:05 p.m. through a link I sent him in our eblast and then he purchased an item,” and yes, there are percentages and scenarios and A/B testing, but is that what journalism is about? Being the ultimate crowd-pleaser?

This may be part of my quarterly, semi-silent, psychotic rant phase, but there are times when I, too, feel a sense of doubt. Having read Orwell to pieces, I still can’t help but feel like “slavery is freedom” and when we’re put in chains, we at least have something to push back against, we have a need to find creative ways out of our situations. But, what if your life is like this big net of creativity? How can you tell you’re being creative, really, or are you just assigning yourself the label, wham, bam, thank you, ma’am?

Coulda woulda shoulda

Sometimes I feel I’m being sucked into the tar, and immortalizing these crappy sentences I throw together in some stupendous rage, all because I thought something was interesting (I can’t blog on a consistent basis, because I find random things bloggable, at random times).

But, I mean, is it? Do you like it? Do you? And does it matter much anyway, in the large scheme of things? Part of me feels like I missed a crucial step in becoming a legitimate journalist. I could have traveled more, I could have fought for the rights of the underdog, like I was taught to do through sharing facts and quotes. I could have been another Marie Colvin, who lost her life in defense of pursuing the truth, through any means necessary. Another part of me is sitting pretty, thinking that this life ain’t so bad, and I’m kind of comfy in this chair, though it’s probably making my butt pancake-flat over time.

Who knows. Writing it out kind of makes me feel better, though. I mean, a physical diary just doesn’t quite cut the mustard, when I can satisfy my inner-adolescent’s need to merge tech with words with images and all of the above. Sure, I think I could have thrived in the newspaper world, pre-blogs, but who’s worse off in the end?

This whole thing really just started because I wanted an A+ on my headline test

And now that we’ve got THIS out of the way, there are a few things I’m tossing around up there in my noggin. It’s like playing Hot Potato with blog ideas:

  • On Reading Translated Works
    • Focusing on Truck Stop Rainbows by Iva Pekárková
  • Kombucha Tea
    • Guess the fermenting process is good for your gut. Does the same go for drinking beer, or what?
  • Is it just me or is the 50s-style of singing crooners coming back with reinforced, warbling vigor?
    • See: Tripswitch, others
  • The Future is Unclear–Literally
    • Inspired by a conversation I had with the proprietor at my local liquor store. She observed that her children have bad eyesight, but she sees 20/20. Is there some link here, between focusing on iPads and books (she said her daughter’s a READER!) allowing the muscles that propitiate foresighted-focusing to atrophy from disuse?
  • Nielsen Data
    • The nation is watching itself watch itself watch itself watch itself
  • 10 Ways to Kill Time at the Office While Simultaneously Staying Productive
    • I have some weird ideas for this one, for sure
  • The Cure is coming to town, June 7
  • Lab Girl – a book I want to read

Well, that’s pretty much it for now. I feel like a career hot-air balloon that’s finally descended back down to Earth to gather up its skirts and take a little cat nap.

Maybe this weekend, I’ll take up the keys and drop some knowledge on ya! ‘Til then.

I’m not bald, okay? I shaved my head. Do you understand?”  – Kill Bill


Featured image via A Blogger’s Corner

What Type of Tree is That? 10 Topiaries Found in the Wild

Arbor Day (April 29) is only 10 days away! Now that it’s nice out, why don’t you take the kids on an educational outing through your local nature trail to celebrate? You might not be aware of this simple fact, but there are hundreds, if not thousands, of different tree species thriving throughout the United States. Each have their own individual average lifespan, some grow flowers, and others produce spindles and cones instead of leaves and flowers. If you’re looking for a brief glimpse into the wide variety of topiaries thriving all over America, here is a handful of trees you might be most familiar with:


blackgum-black-tupelo-27Black Tupelo (Nyssa sylvatica)

Description: Medium- to large-sized (50-100 feet) deciduous tree. Alternate, glossy leaves (2-5 inches long), generally elliptical in shape, turn bright scarlet in autumn. Male and female flowers are small and greenish white. Abundant fruits resemble dark, elongated blueberries (to 1/2 inch long), with rigid and bitter flesh.

Habitat: Uplands, well-drained valleys and woodlands, though the variety known as swamp tupelo thrives in soggy bottomlands.

Distribution: Southwestern Maine west to Michigan and south to Florida and east Texas

Points of Interest: The nondescript flowers of this otherwise highly attractive tree are an excellent nectar source for bees, producing a very popular type of honey. Black tupelo is also commonly known as blackgum or sweetgum.


southern-magnoliaSouthern Magnolia (Magnolia grandiflora)

Description: Medium-sized (60-80 feet) broadleaf everygreen with a pyramidal crown. Glossy, elliptical leaves are large (5-8 inches long and 2-3 inches wide), as are cup-shaped, fragrant flowers (6-8 inches across), comprising six or more creamy white petals. In autumn, conelike pods break open to release red seeds.

Habitat: Bottomlands, low uplands, and coastal plains in moist, temperate regions

Distribution: Eastern North Carolina south to central Florida and west to east Texas

Points of Interest: The state tree of Mississippi, the magnolia is named for Pierre Magnol (1638-1715), a French botanist who influnced the work of Carolus Linnaeus (1707-1778), the father of the modern system of botanical nomenclature. Linnaeus honored Magnol by naming this genus after him.


Monterey Cypress (Cupressus macrocarpa)

monterey cypress

Description: Medium-sized (60-80 feet) evergreen, often with an asymmetrical or flat-topped crown. Bright green, scalelike foliage has blunt tips. Rounded cones (about 1 – 1 1/2 inches long) have a short barb on each scale. Grayish bark becomes furrowed with age.

Habitat: Rocky, exposed coastal headlands

Distribution: Only two native, unmixed groves still exist (both in Monterey County, California), but the widely planted tree has naturalized in other parts of coastal California

Points of Interest: accustomed to the Pacific’s unrelenting winds and salty spray, the Monterey cypress is now a popular windscreen, ornamental, bonsai specimen, and–in Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa–source of timber. Naturalists estimate that it can live to 200 or 300 years.


cherry_escarpment_blk150Black Cherry (Prunus serotina)

Description: Medium- to large-sized (50-100 feet) deciduous tree with glossy, elliptical leaves (206 inches long). Tiny, white flowers, arranged in 6-inch-long cylindrical racemes, appear in late spring. Edible cherries (about 3/8 inch in diameter) turn almost black when ripe.

Habitat: Woodlands, fields, roadsides, and bottomlands

Distribution: Nova Scotia west to southern Ontario and south to central Florida and Texas

Points of Interest: As a premium-grade hardwood, black cherry is second only to black walnut in value. The fruit, once used to make pemmican, is now commonly found in pies, jams, and liqueurs. The bark and leaves contain a form of cyanide, which can poison livestock. Wild cherry syrup, made from the bark, acts as a sedative and cough suppressant.


holly_american150American Holly (Ilex opaca)

Description: Small- to medium-sized (usually under 30 feet) broadleaf evergreen with a dense crown, often broadly conical or pyramidal in shape. Leathery, elliptical leaves with spiny teeth stay on the tree until the spring of their third years. Berrylike fruit turns bright red when mature; each “berry” contains about four small nutlets.

Habitat: Humid areas, including bottomlands, understory of mixed hardwood forests, and coastal dunes

Distribution: Southeastern United States, as far north as Massachusetts and as far west as Texas

Points of Interest: Settlers quickly endowed this New World species with all the Christmas symbolism associated with English holly. The state tree of Delaware, American Holly has the distinction of being the world’s hardiest broadleaf evergreen tree.

American Hornbeam (Carpinus caroliniana)


Description: Small, shrubby tree (up to 35 feet), often with a twisted or multiple trunk. Toothed, ovate leaves and unisexual flowers are similar to those of birch trees, but fruit is quite distinctive, consisting of paired nutlets, nestled in leaflike bracts, hanging in clusters 2-4 inches long.

Habitat: Bottomlands and the understory of hardwood forests

Distribution: Southeastern Ontario, southwestern Quebec, most of the eastern United States, and south to Mexico

Points of Interest: American hornbeam has extremely tough, heavy, close-grained wood, but its small size makes commercial harvesting impractical. In fact, this species is often eradicated as a weed in forests managed for timber production–despite its role as an important food source for beavers, squirrels, deer, and birds.


Sugar Maple (Acer saccahrum)

Description: Large deciduous tree with a dense, rounded crown, growing up to 100 feet. Palmately lobed leaves (about 5 inches long and slightly more across) turn brilliant shades of red, orange, or yellow in autumn.

sugar maple

Habitat: Cool, moist uplands and forests

Distribution: Southeast Manitoba east to Nova Scotia and south to eastern Kansas and North Carolina

Points of Interest: The state tree of New York, Vermont, West Virginia, and Wisconsin, sugar maple is one of the most commercially important hardwoods of North America. Its durable and often strikingly grained wood is harvested for use in flooring, furniture, and other items: and its sap, which has twice the sugar content than that of other maple species, is harvest for maple syrup production.

Giant Sequoia (Sequoiadendron giganteum)

Description: Largest tree on earth (in terms of mass), sometimes exceeding 250 feet in height and 20 feet in trunk diameter. Evergreen scalelike foliage has sharp tips. Fibrous, reddish brown bark may be 2 feet thick at the trunk base. Egg-shaped cones are 2-3 inches long.

(PC: Yosemite Online)

Habitat: Mixed coniferous forests, generally from 4,500-7,500 feet

Distribution: Western slope of California’s Sierra Nevada

Points of Interest: Giant sequoias’ longevity is as impressive as their bulk; many are believed to be over 3,000 years old. From the mid-nineteenth to the mid-twentieth century, these mammoth, ancient trees were logged extensively, prompting John Muir to opine, “As well sell the rain-clouds, and the snow, and the rivers, to be cut up and carried away if that were possible.” Today, the sequoias outside national parks (about 50 percent of the population) remain unprotected.


dogwood_floweringFlowering Dogwood (Cornus florida)

Description: Small (usually under 40 feet), attractive tree with a broadly spreading crown. Deciduous, ovate or elliptical leaves turn red in autumn, as do berrylike fruit (poisonous to humans). Flowers comprise clusters of tiny, yellow-green petals, each cluster bordered by four large, white (or pinkish) bracts.

Habitat: Understory of mixed hardwood forests

Distribution: Southern Ontario east to southwestern Maine and south to east Texas and northern Florida

Points of Interest: While humans admire its ornamental qualities–over twenty cultivars of this lovely tree are now sold commercially–wildlife appreciate this native species for its high-fat, calcium-rich foliage and fruit. Flowering dogwood is the state tree of Missouri and Virginia.


Live Oak (Quercus virginiana)


Description: Broadleaf evergreen of only medium height (to 50 feet) but with a massive trunk (diameter of 4 feet or more) and widespread crown (150 feet or more). Dark green, elliptical or obovate leaves appear leathery with a glossy sheen. Acorns with deep, rounded, scaly cups reach maturity the first year.

Habitat: Coastal plains, barrier islands, sandy areas (including dunes), and marsh borders in temperate regions

Distribution: Southeastern coastal states, from central Texas east to Florida and north to Virginia

Points of Interest: Characteristically drapes in Spanish moss, live oak is the state tree of Georgia and a majestic emblem of the Deep South. Its revered status may explain why its strong timber is no longer used for shipbuilding or other purposes.


Can you tell these trees apart? Quiz your friends, or impress your coworkers with your new knowledge of trees, the next time you take a stroll along wooded walkways with them.


Descriptions come from the Sierra Club’s Knowledge Cards, printed by Pomegranate Communications, Inc. Photos from Yosemite Online, North Carolina Forest Service, and Drawing from Line to Life. Featured image via Southern Pride Tree Farm, Inc. 

Simultaneously published on KING’s official blog

Who wore it best? Elle Fanning is the new face of Neon

Smash Gia with Plush and then you’ll feel the heartache evinced by the dismal conclusion of the trailer for The Neon Demon.

The Fanning sisters aren’t typically typecast, and Elle’s role in The Neon Demon supports the string of strange parts she’s played thus far. Most recently, she played a transgender boy in About Ray. She also played alongside Angelina Jolie in Maleficent, and she was amazing in Super 8, in particular where she spontaneously zombied out, reminiscent of the talented Naomi Watts in Mulholland Drive when she transforms into an entirely different person for a minute while auditioning for a role, then pops back out to normalcy. It’s eerie.

The girl can do anything. It’ll be a trip to see her delve into the life of a supermodel, to see just how “dangerous” she can be in one of my favorite movie genres of all time: The subversive hyper-meta fiction that could be a microcosm for the very industry the actors are currently enmeshed in.


Jena Malone (Donnie Darko, The Secret Life of Altar Boys, Sucker Punch) is another actress featured in the film. The Daily Mail says the two girls get into it in the bedroom. Perhaps Elle is following in her sister, Dakota’s, footsteps in pursuing a same-sex relationship on-screen.

Keanu Reeves (Generation Um, Johnny Mneumonic) is a main character in Nicolas Winding Refn’s film, along with Christina Hendricks (Mad Men), and Carey Mulligan (An Education) as well.

There’s blood and glass and glitter all over the trailer, therefore somebody’s gonna die (my money’s on Malone. She almost always ends up dead, or missing, in her movies.)

I don’t think I can express how excited to see this film, but The Neon Demon is slated for release June of this year, so we won’t have too long of a wait to witness this train wreck of beauty and madness.


Featured image via iHorror.com

Is it your destiny to be a modern day alchemist?

Pictured: Cannabis-infused vodka. Now, wouldn’t that be something? (via sousweed)

Are you an alchemist at heart, growing bored of drinking the same old peach-flavored vodka and looking to make your own? Or are you that RPG’er who buys out every magical shop in town before NPCs can “grow” their crops back? Now’s your chance to let your freak flag fly… in real life.

Traditional Roots Healthcare brings together the best of both worlds while helping you channel your inner holistician. The company hosts events where you can join a small group of like-minded herbalists in creating vitamin-infused booze, salves, tinctures, and other homemade remedies.

You can schedule an appointment to meet with a dietary counselor, as part of the nonprofit’s business plan, or you can RSVP to the party and take home potions you make yourself.

Follow Traditional Roots Healthcare on Facebook to receive notifications for upcoming events, and you might just find your next-door-neighbors are kindred spirits. Maybe they’re busy brewing up the next batch of locally-made moonshine, and maybe there’s a dash of a little something extra in it that helps you sleep, cures anxiety, or detoxifies your adrenal glands.

Upcoming Events

New Moon Infusion
April 7, 7 p.m.
Suggested Donation: $20

  • Infuse wine and liquor with herbs
  • Provide recipes for other useful infusions
  • Set an intention for spring and how this ties to the element Wood in Chinese Medicine or Aries in astrology

Tonics, Tinctures, and Brews
April 10, 1-3 p.m.
Suggested Donation: $20

  • Salves
  • Tinctures
  • Bulk Herbal Formulas
  • Essential Oil Blends


Featured image via The Key of Kels

Helen Mary Horty, the best surrealist of this century

In offhanded homage to Vincent van Gogh (today is his birthday, they say), I present to you another surrealist artist. Her name is Mary Helen Horty. Though she received a degree in art from the University of Minnesota, she is renowned for her paper collages.

Rifling through the miscellaneous pieces leaning against the back wall of the Bearded Mermaid shop near downtown St. Paul, my fingers came to a full stop upon sight of one of Horty’s collages. It is unlike anything I’ve seen before, and I’ve seen some weird stuff in that shop. I actually have a total of three works of art from the Bearded Mermaid, and I catch myself looking at her’s more often than I’d like to admit.

Looking at this piece, depending on your hunger level, you see three identical stacks of spaghetti, leading the eye to the backside of a woman digging vigorously into the depths of her icebox, then maybe you see the egg yolk floating in space in the panel above her. To the left, there are similar iterations of a woman in the stages of getting dressed for a night out, she’s holding her hair up and she’s smiling at the viewer with a look of commercial ambivalence, much like saying, “Mhmm? You like it don’t you? Ech, well, I don’t care how you think I look, I’m frickin’ ravishing, and I don’t particularly like you anyway.” And there’s a jade jaguar walking down a staircase, a layer above the top half of a man’s silhouette, staring out into a pearlescent sunscape.

I couldn’t find this one online, so here are some of her other amazing works:

Though everyone has their own opinions as to what makes a great piece of art, I say the good stuff sticks with you. You may see a cantalope in real life and think about how its likeness is represented alongside a lightbulb in Horty’s “Fruitful” collage. The images are burned into your mind’s eye, and while you’re making a pot of spaghetti or just falling asleep, you think about distinctions in the art you’ve seen. You’re constantly glancing over at it, hanging there on your wall, just to make sure it still exists, that you didn’t simply dream about someone somewhere someday stealing the breath from your chest, making you think, “Gee. I never would have thought to put that there. How did she do that? Where did she get these ideas?”


Mary Helen Horty was born in 1923 and began working in ceramics, then weaving, then painting, until she gravitated toward paper collages, leaving this life in 2005 with a house filled with artwork and a husband, Thomas, who she had been married to for 60 years.

From the St. Kate website:

“Ultimately, since all images are found, they depend on chance or some mysterious affinity between images. A montage cannot be carefully planned in advance because, as new images surface to tempt me, a work is constantly changing through trial and error. This state of flux continues until I somehow declare a work ‘finished.’ “I am often surprised! If asked why I use certain combinations of images, I can only reply, ‘Why not?’ ” – Mary Helen Horty

And here’s her Wild Rice Casserole recipe that my fiancé found online:

Mary Helen Horty’s Wild Rice Casserole

Savory wild rice dish with sausage mushrooms using real wild rice.
1 lb. fresh crimini mushrooms
1 ½ lb. Italian pork sausage (½ hot ½ sweet)
1 large sweet onion, chopped
2 C. wild rice, uncooked2
¼ C. flour
½ C. heavy cream
2 ½ C. chicken broth
1 t. salt
½ t. ground thyme
Clean and slice mushrooms. Chop onions Remove sausage casings, sauté meat, keeping it in chunks3. Sauté in batches, remove and drain on paper towels. Sauté onions and mushrooms in same pan. Return sausage meat to pan and set aside. Cook rice (thoroughly washed) in boiling, lightly salted water for 12 minutes. Drain and add to sausage mixture. Mix flour with cream in saucepan over medium heat and stir until smooth. Add chicken broth and cook until thickened. Add salt and thyme. Combine with rice, sausage mixture. Pour into large casserole (9X13). Bake, covered, 40—50 minutes in pre-heated 375 F. oven. 1 Mary Helen Horty was a talented montage artist, a knowledgeable horticulturist, a great cook, a superb hostess, and my dear friend for many years. 2 Using lake-harvested wild rice makes a difference, if you can find it. The oxymoronically named “cultivated wild rice” now grown in paddies and harvested like a farm crop, does not have the same chew and texture of the real deal. Real wild rice is a grass—the plants growing wildly in the shallow borders of Minnesota lakes and harvested by local native tribes in canoes, beating the rice with sticks to capture only the grains that are sufficiently mature and ready to dislodge and fall into canoe side baskets. Read any online descriptions or store packages very carefully. The commercially farmed version is not bad, mind you, just not as good. 3 I do not recommend buying uncased sausage meat which may seem like a time saver, and is sometimes cheaper. Unfortunately, it breaks up too much while cooking, like ground beef.

What an amazing woman, she was, that Mary Helen Horty. Hope you enjoyed this little stint of an exploration into the life and artwork of the Minnesota artist who may not still physically reside in St. Paul, but her spirit lives on in these pieces that are strewn about in the homes of art lovers everywhere.

Oh, and happy Vincent van Gogh day. You won’t be forgotten either, you fascinating individual. We’re still thinking about you guys, so chin up, there. We’ll see you soon.

Augusten Burroughs hits the deadline for his new book

via Rebl Nation

Wondering what Augusten Burroughs has been doing these last 20 years, since he released the acclaimed memoirs Running with Scissors and Dry? Well, don’t check the tabloids or celebrity gossip forums, because he wrote it all down in his new book Lust & Wonder due for release, March 29.

Washington Post says they are not quite looking forward to the sequel, and only devout fans of the cult of Burroughs will want to delve into the “sometimes unremarkable” story of his latest journey through New York.

Having read Running with Scissors and Dry, I’d like to give this one a try. I admit I am curious as to how his life is playing out since he got a handle on his drinking problem. (Reading Dry made me rethink some of my own bad habits, but I have not yet reached the point where I wake up each morning to find the carpet’s completely covered in empty bottles.)

They haven’t made a movie of that one yet, and why would they? It reads more like a Chuck Palahniuk novel, or that Hope They Serve Beer in Hell book (that I didn’t finish, because, why?) with Burroughs’ characteristic sardonic attitude and self-shaming antics painting a picture of a life of mounting incidents–each one more shocking than the last.

Either way, bottoms up, Augusten Burroughs. Cheers to your imminent success with this new novel. I’ll donate a few bucks your way, just to help you keep fighting that good fight.


Featured image via Bēhance

Moon Shot: a documentary about daring to do the impossible

Now that government-funded space travel is no longer in the public vocabulary, private citizens are taking matters into their own hands while competing for the XPRIZE lunar landing competition. The project began in 2007, and JJ Abrams just released a nine-part web series called Moon Shot that goes behind the scenes and shows the world who is taking part in the competition.

You can watch every episode, here, on the XPRIZE site.

Google presents XPRIZE or Moon 2.0

XPRIZE’s giving 16 private teams the chance to win a shot at $30 million in funding for their space expedition to the moon. There will only be one first-place winner, but each team had the chance to be featured in a part of the Moon Shot series.

To win the prize, the teams must design a lunar lander that can travel a minimum of 500 meters on the surface of the moon–and they must have high-definition video and images to prove it.

The complete roster of teams was announced in February 2011, but was open to anyone with a little bit of money and a lot of ambition. The XPRIZE website states they have “…teams ranging from industry experts to well-funded high school students who don’t know what they can’t do.”

Basically, XPRIZE wants to see what people will come up with, whether they’re rocket scientists or not.

It’s not about the money

The competition isn’t just about the money, though. The purpose of the competition is to spur people into action, to believe they can achieve the impossible, and shake the concept of space travel down to the foundations as a result.

There may even be a chance that the teams will spend more than they win, as we saw with the 1927 competition for the Orteig Prize. Charles Lindbergh was the first man to make a transatlantic flight. He dared to go 55 hours without sleep, without food, just to accomplish something no one had ever dared before. This feat Wiley Post to fly around the world in seven days, back in 1933, among other amazing journeys that inspired people across the globe to pursue their dreams.

Front page of the New York Herald on May 22, 1927 declaring Charles Lindberg’s first transatlantic flight via Airsoc

Moon Shot, the documentary

Moon Shot is not a documentary leading up to an ultimate conclusion, such as we’ve seen with regularly-televised competitions like American Idol or Dancing with the Stars. The purpose of JJ Abrams’ documentary is to enliven the human spirit and highlight the individual personalities embarking on a quest to reach the moon.

As of now, there is no official announcement date for declaring the winner; frankly, only two teams have signed launch contracts and they plan on making the journey sometime next year.

For now, we’ll have to watch Moon Shot to get familiar with the crew, then cross our fingers and hope our favorite team actually makes it to the moon.

and its on

and its on — i alleviate staggered stupidity with a modicum of graceful gratuity — she doesnt notice — rings my tab without checking for a tip and so maybe misses out on the three dollars 84 cents id so bequeathed — she looking probably a lesbian — just a tiny cup of coffee she says with a joke in her eye overhearing the use of the word tiny and disregard for the rest of the sentence — hardly abnormal as a conversation — handy with lowered eyes and no want to meet — cornea to cornea

the women here

the women here wear high to the knee leather boots and drink dark wine — all with laptops open on tabletops — no eye contact — no looking around — uninterest parsed out evenly for all whose sat after ordering — then my food arrives and i cant avoid attending to it — but a bite in i think — they all sit tabled in twos — one with headphones on both encompassed by internetful exploration or maybe homework — no one talks — african music soft in the corner almost a drone of tone — they maybe planned to come together or met here — but now here they hide behind each other — ooh a spared word whispered after a finger tap to alert the other of vocalization — then its slumped shoulders back under plugged ears staring forward a foot below the others eyes at the world in quotation marks — a sad little captioned universe comprised entirely of the thoughts and subsequent writings of others — this internet is become a great pacifier — an enormous toddler our civilization is — just outward limbs seizure spread in hopes of ensnaring an open ear — my story — my life — listen — listen — i have something here — and always its a rerun — do you remember reruns — that was once a relevant word — i even remembered how to spell it for you — the concepts ensnared within its definition will likely be lost on you so i shall tarry no further — onward to a high hung hammock strung up by heart strings — dare you to twang upon the twine tethers

“Have a good day”

“Have a good day” — youre standing staring at me waiting — am i doing it — can you see my day improving by sheer dint of your stuttered vocalization — sprouting rainbow shedding wings and soaring off to the valhalla of days endings — happy little penguino toots trumpeting my arrival — gimme gimme gimme – – – which button …  do i hit credit — i dont know do you have a credit card? — dog captain stab master mcplus

The Myopic Generation: An Experiment in Progress

There’s a social experiment in the works, here. It all started with a conversation at the local liquor store. During the latest transaction, the proprietor motioned toward my glasses and mentioned that her daughter had poor eyesight, but she could see 20/20 herself. Why is that, she asked? We discussed the issue at hand, reasoning that perhaps tech was to blame. I promised her I would investigate this matter further, and here I present my findings as provided partly by my own experiences with nearsightedness (myopia) and myriad articles I found online (via tech, of course, further subjecting myself to the further propagation of this perpetual problem.)


To find out why people believe that new generations of humans will have exponentially bad eyesight


Muscles typically used for long-distance vision atrophy as today’s technologically-centric humans train their eyes to focus on objects 6-12″ away.


  • “Children today have grown up with technology always at their fingertips. It seems as if kids learn how to use a smartphone or tablet before they learn to walk. Whether it’s playing the latest game or doing homework, technology permeates a child’s life and does so at a young age. Because this is a new phenomenon, not much is known about the long-term impact of computers or other digital gadgets on pediatric eyes. However, eye care providers have reported seeing an increase in cases of myopia, or nearsightedness. According to the National Eye Institute, more than 34 million Americans suffer with myopia, a number that is projected to rise to nearly 40 million by 2030.ix Although there is no one specific cause for the increase, scientists point to a mix of genetic and environmental factors, including increasing near-range activities such as the use of digital devices, and decreasing exposure to natural light through outdoor activities.x Digital eye strain can also affect children and teens, whose eyes may fatigue after long periods of use. Computers and smartphones are often tied to every facet of a young person’s life—from school to socializing, there is little respite from the constant use of technology. ” (via The Vision Council)
  • “Single-vision minus lenses for full-time use produce accommodative insufficiency associated with additional symptoms until the patient gets used to the lens. This is usually accompanied by a further increase in myopia and the cycle begins anew.” – Martin H Birnbaum (1973), Review of Optometry  (via Improve Vision Naturally)
  • “Modern living has sparked something of a myopia epidemic. Our children are spending more of their free time indoors watching TV and playing video games than generations of the past, and their long distance vision is suffering.

    In China, a massive 76% of lower middle school students are already nearsighted. Education officials now see to it that Chinese students perform eye exercises twice a day in order to tackle the myopia epidemic.

    In contrast, countries whose cultures place more emphasis on sports and outdoor living – such as Australia and New Zealand – have among the lowest occurrence of nearsightedness in the world. The solution, then, is to spend more time outdoors and actually using your long distance vision.

    Like any muscle – even like your brain – if you stop using your eyes they can become weak. If you’re nearsighted, you probably spend a lot of time indoors performing close-up tasks and your long distance vision has become weak. You can correct this by enjoying the great outdoors more frequently and focusing in the long distance.” – Improve Vision Naturally


Studies show that myopia may passed down genetically, or it may be caused by a steady decline in eyesight, due to external environmental factors. In my case, both my mother and father have almost perfect eyesight. They’re parents also had perfect eyesight. And my great grandparents? I’ve never seen them wear glasses, either. I’ve thought this over, long and hard, and the first implication of the onset of my condition is enmeshed in a memory from the age of 2-years-old or so, when I walked outside, taking a breather from the otherworldly confusion ensuing from the TV as my older sister watched Munsters with her friend on TV. I found myself staring at the sun. What pretty colors there were to be found there. After staring at the TV screen, almost believing the world to consist of the grey-scale palette featured on the show, I saw hues of purple interchanged with blue and red and yellow and the whole UV spectrum seemed to open up to me. Who knows how long I let my retina erode at such an early age. You wouldn’t know it to recognize me today, as we have the most fashionable eyeglasses currently in creation (See: Warby Parker, my chosen frames and contacts, of course) but I have myopia. I actually have astigmatism, which means that instead of seeing the horizon as a flat plane, my eyes actually tilt flat planes into 45 degree diagonals. The average human being may see a little fuzziness around the edges, but I see double. Call me four-eyes, if you will, but when I look at the sun today, the glaring heat giant in the sky looks to be 10 times its size, as my eyes blur the multiple versions of the same object into one, without definition, disproportionate in scale.

After reading a few articles on the subject, I can’t help but think that while part of our brains have evolved over the centuries (See: Multi-tasking abilities, problem-solving skills, overall sense of urgency and a need for productivity) while another crucial part of our anatomy has devolved (See: Paleolithic-era hunters, scanning the horizon for enemies).

The future generations of humans will focus ever more closely to objects within a foot from their faces, and quite frankly (and this is the sci-fi part of me speaking to you, now) we won’t even have to strain our eyes that far, because we’ll probably have contacts within the internet embedded right in the soft faux-factory-induced-plastic material we’ve voluntarily subsumed into our ocular anatomy by the 22nd century.

There’s also somewhat of a spiritual-awakening trend taking place as we speak. Something about seeing what’s right in front of you… “living in the moment”. These messages are secretly seeping into our subconscious. Why worry about the future when you should focus on the here-and-now? Likewise, that object in the distance? Don’t look at that. It’s not important. Focus on the task at hand. The task! Complete it. Now.


To roll with my childhood intuition (or abhorrence toward wearing glasses), I’ll go two days without glasses or contacts and register the time it takes for me to register a headache, and I’ll use the pinhole method (the natural equivalent to using a pair of binoculars to focus on one object at a time) in favor of letting my otherwise lazy eyes strain themselves to focus on objects close up while I’m wearing glasses strategically engineered to sharpen objects at a distance (counter-intuitive, perpetuating the cycle mentioned in Improve Vision Naturally article.)

On Day 1:

I will read from a book (close-at-hand) and after 20 minutes, will stare out the window for 20 minutes, training my eyes to adjust from their natural (or unnatural, at this point?) nearsighted tendencies to focusing on objects at a distance.

On Day 2:

I should be able to focus on objects farther than 20 feet away, without incurring an immediate headache. I should become comfortable looking into the distance, without immediately finding myself fighting the instinct to grab for my glasses. Reading from a book less than a foot in front of my face should feel as natural as focusing on a rabbit running across the pavement on the street below, more than 20 feet away from the window.


This is a hard one. How can someone measure their ability to focus on objects in the distance, when they have made the habit of assuming said objects are out-of-focus? I suppose it’s all about comfort, yeah? I will go a weekend without corrective lenses, and exercise my eye muscles to focus on objects in the distance. Meanwhile, I will record my observations. Success will be measured by my comfort level at Day 1 versus Day 2. I know this is not a lot of time for such an extravagant endeavor, but I believe that by Day 2, I can train my brain to receive light signals off in the distance, instead of turning on all of the lights in the house so that I may focus on a single object close at hand. The method of measurement will be comfort. I will rate my level of comfort using an eye-strain, pain threshold such as 1 equals “little to no pain” and 5 equals “total annihilation of the senses, beginning with the eyes.”


I will share the results of this experiment on my Twitter page. Just a short, little, 140-character snippet of my findings.


Featured image via Little Four Eyes

múm performs live soundtrack to silent films

After releasing six albums, Icelandic band múm is now playing live music to Billy Wilder’s Menschen am Sonntag in theatres around the globe.

Menschen am Sonntag is a silent film from 1930 about everyday people relaxing on the shores of Nikolasse beach. Drama ensues when two couples develop mixed feelings for the other’s partners.

via Resident Advisor

Menschen am Sonntag shows another side of life in the 30s, that confusing period between the Golden 20s and the beginning of WWII and múm is revitalizing this avante-garde art film from a decade long forgotten.

Múm brings a new perspective to the film, blending sound effects from mundane objects with otherworldly overtones and discordant notes to flesh out the emotion left unattained when the original film came out.

Listen to múm’s album Finally We Are No One and you will feel like you’re no longer a person. This album lifts your soul from your body and sends it wandering through an imaginary forest to discover intimations of the fountain of youth.

This is, by far, the best album I have listened to in a long time. And I’m confident, without a doubt, that no one could achieve the feat of setting the scene for Menschen am Sonntag, save for the magical minds behind the band múm.


Featured image via Area81

‘Falling Out of Cars’ by Jeff Noon

Falling Out of Cars gave me renewed hope for the future of Jeff Noon’s work… but I have a feeling this is his last book. There are certain quotes in the introduction that allude to his degrading mental state, or, his traveling too far down the rabbit hole as he might say.

Noon is also the author of Automated Alice, a reimagined sequel to Lewis Carroll’s greatest work. His first book, Vurt, had me hooked from the first few lines:

Mandy came out of the all-night Vurt-U-Want, clutching a bag of goodies.

Close by was a genuine dog, flesh and blood mix; the kind you don’t see much any more. A real collector’s item. It was tethered to the post of a street sign. The sign read NO GO. Slumped under the sign was a robo-crusty. He had a thick headful of droidlocks and a dirty handwritten card — “hungry n homeless, please help.” Mandy, all twitching steps and head-jerks, scurried past him. The crusty raised his sad little message ever so slightly and the thin pet dog whined.

Through the van’s window I saw Mandy mouth something at them; “Fuck off, crusties. Get a life.” Something like that.

I was watching all this in the halo of the night lights. We stuck to the dark hours in those days. The Thing was on board and that was a major crime; possession of live drugs, a five year stretch guaranteed.

The way he writes, as if he were dictating to a friend the path his eye travels while drunkenly assessing a shit show unfolding in real time, it’s all too easy to get sucked into his sci-fi/fantasy lifestyle that seems all too close to the way we live now. This is the follow-up to his first in the epic post-modern, drugged-up odyssey is Pollen. There’s something about it, though. I’m not sure why, but I couldn’t get into the second book.

Now, that it’s been a few years (almost 10, to be approximately exact) since I’ve dug into his brain, I found a renewed hunger for his depraved thought process.

Falling Out of Cars isn’t involved with the Vurt series at all, but it feels as if the two worlds straddle the same fence. Though the stories are based in separate realities, the characters whose lives you assimilate into your own while reading paint a bleak and ragged existence.

For myself, I felt as though I was suffering from some cruel hangover, the kind which makes the world seem too real, too fierce. The cries of the gulls pierced through me. My pores were damp with the smells of diesel oil, salt, the saturated fats floating around the hotdog stand. Even the planks I walked on, the grain of the wood, the patterns were too well-defined. And yet, strangely, whenever I turned away from these details, everything became fragile, brittle. I felt I was moving inside a theatre set, that I might step through completely, and fall.

Our lead character here, Marlene, is also a writer like the main man in Vurt, but her epithets are rife with confusion and suffering. At one point in the book, she tears her precious notebook to shreds, in one of her withdrawal fits. And there’s no going back from that.

When you surrender to the void and willingly rip all of your memories out of your own head, that’s when you know there’s no hope for humanity.

Falling Out of Cars is set in a dystopian future where people live out there lives in a meaningless drone, much like a lot of people do today, but in Noon’s book, no one knows who they really are. If they’re lucky, they may have a few memories from the last couple of years yet rattling around inside their brains, on the off chance they’re triggered from a similar traumatic event, but people are deteriorating quickly and no one quite knows why.

Mirrors are a thing of the past. Clocks are banned. The only thing holding any two people together is a shared task of epic proportions. Marlene’s task? She’s in charge of finding the missing shards of a strange piece of glass that allows anyone who touches it, nay, if someone even looks at it, they begin to see themselves. Who they really are, in all their decadent glory.

Half-way through the journey, Marlene stumbles upon an old woman, lurking in the shadows of some alleyway, who takes two photographs, one of each of her two partners-in-crime. She scoops up the Polaroids and sees their fates made plain, steering her toward a sordid twist of fate. She shouldn’t have noticed things. She should be falling apart, due to the lack of Lucy in her blood. “Keep it sweet,” they say as they down the drug to stay sane, while the lucky ones have full function of their mental states.

It makes you wonder… with all the prescription pills, pot, and booze floating around in our systems 24/7, are we being doped to keep us from noticing blips in the radar? That stuff that sets us apart, those tiny knickknacks we like. What if we didn’t have a home, but instead we roamed around in a beat-up mini-van in search of some priceless pieces of nothing, just so we had something to keep us going?

Would we follow Marlene’s lead and try to write everything down, just to remember who we are when shit hits the fan? What if you turned to your notebook one day, to see your life in scribbles? You can’t make out a thing. Would you give up and run away or keep on the same meaningless path?

These are the questions I asked myself as I fell into the maddening trap that is Jeff Noon’s latest work. I wish he would keep writing, but then again, when you’re done, you’re done.


Featured image via metamorphiction.com

Rockfest 2016: Slipknot, Alice in Chains, & Hollywood Vampires

Slipknot, Alice in Chains, and Hollywood Vampires headline Rockfest XVI in Cadott, Wis., July 14-16. Guess they couldn’t pick just one to headline?

Past year’s headliners:

  • 2015 – Nickelback, Avenged Sevenfold, Judas Priest, & Shinedown
  • 2014 – Aerosmith, Five Finger Death Punch, & Sammy Hagar
  • 2013 – Mötley Crüe, KISS, & Korn
  • 2012 – Def Leppard, Iron Maiden, Godsmack, & Shinedown
  • 2011 – Stone Temple Pilots, Avenged Sevenfold, Kid Rock, & Rob Zombie

With lineups like this, there’s bound to be some diversity in sound at the show. That means, there’s something for everyone, no?

via Rock-Fest.com

Here is the full line-up, as of March 10, for Rockfest XVI:

    • Slipknot
    • Hollywood Vampires
    • Alice in Chains
    • Five Finger Death Punch
    • Marilyn Manson
    • Breaking Benjamin
    • Rise Against
    • Bullet For My Valentine
    • Skillet

      Screenshot 2016-03-10 at 11.00.21 PM
      Weather prediction via The Weather Channel, LLC
    • Queensryche
    • Hollywood Undead
    • All That Remains
    • Scott Stapp
    • In This Moment
    • Sick Puppies
    • Saint Asonia
    • Led Zeppelin 2
    • 10 Years
    • Kix
    • Atreyu
    • Adelitas Way
    • Escape The Fate
    • Nothing More
    • Like A Storm
    • New Years Day
    • Red Sun Rising
    • Master Pussycat
    • Wilson
    • Art Of Dying

It’s gonna be a hot one for this year’s three-night camp out in Wisconsin.

The computer of the future is tiny

future-computersThe first computers that we know of were the size of entire rooms. Just look at this model of Charles Babbage’s 1837 Analytical Machine, which was finally completed in 1910. This machine was capable of recording hard data and making physical print-outs of it.

We didn’t see the first digital computer until it was completed in 1946. It took almost half a decade and we were still about 50 year away from the computers we use today.

Flash forward to 2016. Computers with factory-installed Linux can fit inside your wall outlet phone charger. They’re in a beeper-sized Raspberry Pi. There’s a company in Switzerland that made a mouse into a computer! The year of the tiny is upon us.

Let’s delve into this further, shall we? But first! I must clarify that I have found some categories for these devices… by shape! So, there we go. Wee!


Raspberry Pi

via Beebom

If you don’t know about the ongoing developments with the Raspberry Pi, you might as well just forego this entire article, because the sheer tininess of the Pi is what ultimately led me on this quest for the ultimate tiny computer article. So, there’s an entire world out there, with the sole purpose of letting developers have their way with open-source hardware so they may create LED displays or Nintendo controller emulators, just for fun, essentially. And the people working on the Raspberry Pi are busy enculturating you into their video doctrine of be-all, share-all. So, this is the best place to start, if you’re one of those DIY-ers who feels that nothing is unattainable.

Intel Compute Stick

via WIRED: Ars Technica

The Intel Compute Stick has 1GB of RAM, enough to browse the net, stream your Netflix, and all the light insta-computing you can handle in a computer the size of a large flash drive. It has 8GB of flash memory, for storage (but you’ll probably just load data from the Cloud, I assume). It has Bluetooth AND WiFi, so you can be as productive as you please in whichever coffee shop you deem fit. All you need is a monitor with a USB-port and presto! You’re on your way to excusing yourself from another hour-long meeting to pop in and say the occasional words of acknowledgement, vis-a-vis your nearest bar, or whatever it is you do on your lunchbreak… ’cause that’s when they usually schedule meetings…

Quanta’s Computer Plug

via WinFuture.de

Quanta’s Computer Plug packs the power of a fully-functional Windows 10 machine into the size of a phone charger. And it runs on Cortana (a Microsoft-version voice-activated assistant, much like Siri for Apple.)


The video says it all. This company in Poland needs your help, and I think you should help them! This is sort of genius. Why not have the ability to dual-boot your personal PC then switch back to your work comp all through the power of two USBs? It seems like an ingenious idea, so… let’s do this, you guys! It’s still in the Kickstarter stage, so maybe we can help them out?


Endless Mini

via puzlo

This globe-like appendage is purported to deliver the most information to the most people possible across the globe–all without an internet connection. Here’s how it works: It’s simple. The Endless Mini is already preloaded with apps and tons of wiki pages to keep the curious citizens of remote regions sated, at least until they begin to hunger for more. THEN, they’ll need to go online to get the necessary updates. But! This cool-looking computer is pretty cheap at $79. At least, I know that much is true.

Zotac ZBOX Sphere

via Tom’s Hardware

The ZBOX has a 4-in-1 card reader, perfect for on-the-go photogs and videographers. One of the most appealing things about this little guy is that you can screw off the top to access the innards of the machine. You can customize this thing at will.

So, that’s it. That’s all I have for now. But, I assure you there’s more to come.

Oh, and on a side note, I just got this new Chromebook for $180 (on sale for $150 a day after I bought it) and it’s light (11 in., 3 lbs) and tiny and super fast! Yes, my friends, the future is bright for this wee lass. All the tiny.





Wait, is Alan Cumming a professional singer?


Alan Cumming has been in made-for-TV movies, kids movies, cult classics, and sci-fi fantasy flicks–pretty much every genre imaginable. He’s even slated to play Dali in The Surrealist. In the meantime, he’s taking his career to the stage to sing sappy songs across America.

Cumming will be leading the vocals, with Lance Horne on piano, and Eleanor Norton on cello.

If you’re a fan of the man and you’re in the area, why don’t you go see him at the Minneapolis Orchestra Hall on March 26? Prices range from $50-$90, depending on seating. Click here for ticket information and to view his other tour dates.


Featured image via Hammer Museum.

CoSchedule is revolutionizing the way we DO social media

CoSchedule’s official logo. Isn’t it swell?

As an active participant in the social media community, I live largely online. When you peer over my shoulder at work, you’ll see I have dual monitors set up with Google Chrome on both screens, with four or five tabs open on each. The left screen I keep mostly for static content; for example, my work email and Spotify’s web player hangs out to the left of me. The right screen, then, acts as the more fluid compartment for my brain. Here is where I work with Photoshop, Premiere at times, and I keep Robohead, Facebook and Twitter open for work–you never know when someone will PM you with a question about a product.

The online world is constantly changing, and if you’re involved in social media in any capactiy, whether you get paid to do it for a company or you’re a casual blogger yourself, you want to try out the latest trends in the industry.

In the last year since I accepted the position at KING, as Communications & Social Media Specialist, I’ve tried tons of web apps for maintaining all of KING’s accounts. Most of them will let you play around with a 14-day trial, then they shut off the important back-end stuff like analytics, conversions, referrals tracking, etc. So, before I found CoSchedule, I was opening up Twitter in its own tab, scheduling stuff through Buffer, and maybe even using TweetDeck once in a while to scroll through multiple feeds at once. Facebook is the same, they include all the demographic information and peak times integrated right into the website, but still you must go through and schedule posts. It can be kind of hectic, making me a little manic at times when I realize I forgot to post one day. The world is going to end, oh no!

This is where CoSchedule saves the day. When you install the CoSchedule WordPress plugin, you can create your blog posts just as normal as can be, but on the bottom of the post (where all your SEO stuff is, if you’ve got Jetpack installed) you’ll see a scheduling tool that allows you to push out your new blog post on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, AND Tumblr. How neat is that? Now, you can write a post when the mood strikes, then schedule it for a Wednesday, say, instead of rushing around trying to post something once you realize you’ve been caught up with other high-priority projects. On KING’s blog, I’m working on posting once a week, on Wednesdays actually, just so we can keep the ball rolling, keep more original content flowing through the pipeline.

I feel a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders!

I can honestly say I’m thankful to the brilliant CoSchedule developers who have simplified at least 50 percent of my job on a weekly basis.

It all started a year of so ago, when I discovered the CoSchedule Headline Analyzer, which I use for every single blog post. Sometimes I ignore the score and go with my gut, but I tend to veer toward the more trustworthy way of working the system. Now that the headline analyzer is included in the Editorial Calendar, I can do everything I need to do content-wise all in the same tab. (Well, aside from the aforementioned sites, with a couple more tabs open for research, photos, facts, and the like.)

My calendar’s looking a little sparse at present, but hey. I’m just getting warmed up!

Before that, I was working with an Excel spreadsheet with columns that held my source links, and rows of ideas for posts. This is in no way efficient, whatsoever. Obviously, Excel doesn’t communicate with the net in any way, so you can’t publish your findings online until you’ve opened up the browser and done all the work all over again. Or you can cut & paste, cut & paste, until your fingers turn blue. It’s up to you, but I don’t recommend this foray into technological barbarism. I did it. It’s awful.

So, if you find yourself lost in a sea of shifting bits of digital information and you’re looking for a life raft, CoSchedule’s the buoy who can help you organize your brain space and compartmentalize your blog to share it in the appropriate places at the appropriate times. It’s quite shiny, I assure you.

Here’s a video of how it all works, so take a gander.

Want to try it yourself? Check out CoSchedule‘s website and get started today.

‘Weird’ is a hard word to define

It’s about time I wrote an etymology report, and I’m planning on publishing a new one each month. The subject matter should be comprised of either trending words, rarely seen, frequently misused, or words with strangely archaic origins.

The why and how of language is a curious thing.

I’ve always been interested in the origin of words, along with their connotations. On a personal note, as a child, my punishment for stealing or lying would result in copying, by hand, words from the dictionary along with their meanings. I often struggled in such a simple task, when my step dad wouldn’t allow me to use syntactical punctuation marks–I had to write this in full sentences. For instance, I might find a bottleneck like, “The meaning of the word meaning means…” How could you possibly explain anything with that circular way of thinking? I had to dive deeper, discover synonyms, and find other ways of conveying my point to my step dad. Would he become baffled upon reading what I had written? Would he be impressed? Would he even read it at all, I wondered.

This ultimately led me to discover I enjoyed exercising what I’ve learned, kinesthetically, usually by rephrasing explanations in a way that made sense to me. I continued the practice on a 1980 Macintosh word processor that my biological father brought home when I was around the age of 10 (early 2000s) and started typing up passages I liked from our encyclopedia collection (mostly about the habitats of arboreal creatures like frogs and leopards), then I’d stare at them for a spell, mesmerized by the blinking green line glowing amid a black background, and I’d print it out just for added justification.

Then there was Spanish class in middle school. I found a lot of words in English had similar-sounding homonyms, spelling, and associated syntax. This led me toward French, another romance language that I can’t get enough of (though I sound like an ape trying to pronounce a damn thing, no offense to apes). The point is, it’s all interrelated, English steals from other languages to compose a more hardy, marble-mouthed version of some of the most beautiful words in existence, in my opinion.

Now that my backstory is out in plain view, I’d like to take this little habit a step further and dredge up the meanings behind one particular word, monthly if it all goes as planned.

I plan to interview experts in etymology and bring their insights back to this blog, but for now, let’s just jump into the origin of the word “weird” as I think that might be the best word to describe my own blog. I should’ve named it “weird nerd” or some such nonsense, but as a computer lover, the 7331 speak spoke volumes to me. Hence, w3rdn3rd.

Well, it’s about time I get back to my origins for deeming this domain to be centered on nerdy words, then, ey?

Since I have no live witnesses on hand to demonstrate my hypotheses, let’s see what the internet has to say about the word, “weird.”

Definition for “Weird”


Use over time for: weird

Can we go back to spelling the word “weird” with a “y”? I don’t know about you, but I kind of want to explore the Old English origins of this word. How did “destiny” turn into “abnormal” in everyday usage?

From Wordorigins.org:

Until its appearance in the Scottish Play, the adjectival use was restricted to the phrase weird sister. Only after Shakespeare used the term, did its use expand to other contexts.

The modern adjectival sense, meaning strange or uncanny, dates only to the early nineteenth century. Noah Webster’s 1828 dictionary only records it as an adjective, “no longer in use,” meaning skilled in witchcraft. Shelley uses the word several times. From his 1817 The Revolt of Islam, used in the sense of something supernatural:

Some said, I was a fiend from my weird cave, Who had stolen human shape.

Oh, how I love that book…

Next month, let’s look at the word “devolved” because I’ve been hearing it a lot lately.

Are there any weird words you’d like to explore? Let me know and I’ll try to wrangle up a few experts in the field to debunk their origins.

Until next time!


Featured image via Alexander Vestin

App Review: I give Quartz a 5/10

You tried. Nah.

For the most part, I trust in Medium. Medium is an online resource for writers and bloggers who have a genuine respect for the lost art of storytelling. Of course, not all writers provide the most accurate information–we are human, after all.

There is one post in particular that caught my eye; it was about the new iPhone app, Quartz, which portends to revolutionize the way we do journalism from here on out. The article surmises that Quartz imbues news stories with a new life of their own, making them more like conversations that the reader can interact with, as opposed to just gobbling up the news as part of your morning routine, and washing it down with a gulp of coffee, then moving on.

I downloaded the app to give it a go, and found all my hopes and dreams, about the future of journalism this article instilled in me, were dashed to the ground.

False Advertising

In J-school, we were taught the headline for our articles should always reflect the content therein. In fact, the headline is supposed to be the truncated summary for the story. Then the first line of the article (lead/lede) encapsulates the thought, providing the who, what, when, where of the matter, and if you read the rest of the story, you will notice that the details are at the end, with high priority facts up front. This is called the inverted pyramid, and I expected this article about journalism to behave this way.

No such luck.

The Times, They Are A Changin’

The fact of the matter is, I don’t follow those rules, myself, anymore. We’re no longer stuck in the box (or pyramid) where there are appropriate lengths for articles, because we’re not constricted to print only. We have all the space we need, here on the net, and one of the beautiful things about Medium is it tells you the length of time it would take the average reader to consume a particular article, right there alongside the headline.

So, if you want to kill four minutes, or you feel like digging into an in-depth 7-minute read, you are warned ahead of time. This way, you don’t find yourself skimming a 1,200-word essay when your intention is to divert yourself for a minute or two from some other task you’re procrastinating. In the hopes it’ll give you some hope for the future, you want to feel good about going back to that menial thing you’ve yet to complete.

Herein lines the gripe. An author on Medium lifted my spirits today, so much so, that I may have let out a tiny whimper and immediately scheduled a Facebook post to my blog page, only to find out that this so-called second-coming of new wave journalism is not all it’s cracked out to be.

Quartz is Quicker, but Twitter is Better

Quartz may appeal to people who like their news in bite-size portions, sprinkled with GIFs throughout. You can easily read a BuzzFeed listicle, if that sort of thing is your bag, baby.

Instead of scrolling through a bunch of nonsensical text in a BuzzFeed article, Quartz shows you little snippets of news stories in the form of an iMessage text, complete with glowing ellipses.


Then you have two choices, you can either click an emoji depicting some image related to the story, or you can click “next”.

At first, I thought this was a neat text-based RPG mode of communication, but you can’t actually type anything in response to the “text” that pops up. So, it’s less like a conversation, more like your entire Twitter feed is shredded apart and pieced back together into a false-chat app-like appendage.

And on Twitter, you can actually REPLY to PEOPLE who post the content. You can actually INTERACT with the news, in this way. Wow! Whodathunkit??? Obviously, the developers behind Quartz didn’t get the memo. (Or maybe, they don’t use Twitter?)

Also, Twitter just released this feature called “Moments”, where authenticated stories written by pro-journalists are filtered so that you can see what multiple news outlets are saying about any one given topic of the day. It’s ingenious, really.

So, why would waste your time and precious quad-core RAM on an extra app?

Don’t Get This App

What I’m saying is, if you have any stock in the future of journalism, you won’t buy into whatever it is Quartz is trying to sell you. The app is free, however, and there are no ads, but there’s just something fishy about it.

And Twitter loads faster, to be honest. I opened up Quartz on 4G LTE and it took, what, like five seconds to load. The developers boast that the app is designed to give you news in short bursts, so you can glean the biggest issues of the day while you’re waiting in line at the bank or standing on the train, but it’s not true, is it?

Quartz can stick with the web browser thing they have going on, if they want to remain a content-driven brand (open up Quartz.com on your phone, if you want to read a full-length news story). And that’s the thing, if you want to actually read a news story, don’t get the app. It’s gimmicky and lame.

I have a lot more to say, so if you’d like to have a conversation with me about it, send me a message on Twitter.

Featured image via The Verge